I love reading bad restaurant reviews, especially the few-and-far-between ones that don’t soften their language and beat around the bush when they obviously hated the place. Here’s one of the best I’ve read yet, from Ryan Sutton over at NY Eater, about the famous Tavern on the Green restaurant in New York City:
Tavern on the Green is a former sheep barn that Robert Moses, in 1934, turned into what would eventually become one of New York’s most famous restaurants, under the management of great names like Joe Baum and Warner LeRoy, and with cameos in films like Ghostbusters and Wall Street. It’s one of the few New York hangouts that an out-of-town culinary novices could name with ease, which probably explains why it was once America’s highest grossing independent eatery — a title it could very well claim again, as it currently feeds 900-1000 guests on weekdays, and up to 1,700 on weekends.
Those numbers themselves mean the Tavern is a de facto gastronomic ambassador for the Big Apple, an unfortunate phenomenon for a venue whose $22 mac ‘n’ cheese is real prison slop. And when the waiter upsells you into topping it off with salmon — because what’s better than oily fish to pair with cheese-y, mushy, pasta — you’ll have spent $32 on what is surely one the worst things anyone can eat outside of Rikers.
This could be a turnip. This could be a potato. This could be anything,” my companion says of the roasted Japanese eggplant, devoid of flavor. Gruyere and goat cheese sandwiches, two tiny halves for $14, boast more grease than a lube job. Mushrooms, nominally affordable at $9, still overpriced because they’re the same criminis you could find at a supermarket for $1.50. They sit in bowl above a slice of baguette to soak up all the juices. Except there are no juices.
You go Ryan!
Keep reading. At the end the author calls it a “shitshow.”
August 20, 2014 at 1:21 PM
Want: This T-Shirt from Snorgtees: “That’s too much bacon. Said No One Ever.”
July 1, 2014 at 9:03 PM
I predict Republicans will start hating on the U.K. now, like they did during the French Fries/American Fries crisis:
Many people who value science education are hoping the US takes note of the UK’s good example, but that seems unlikely considering that the UK appears to have taken note of the US’s bad example. Lawmakers in the UK probably realized that if they didn’t make it absolutely clear that creationism wasn’t allowed today, then tomorrow they’d be discussing the need for language banning the teaching of Loch Ness Monsterism.
If the U.S. banned the teaching of creationism,or more realistically, increased funding for teaching — I know it’s a bad word — SCIENCE, we might get off the Loch Ness Monster thing.
June 19, 2014 at 7:23 PM
When you picture Chinese people do you picture fat people? When you picture Chinese food, do you picture fatty meats? Me neither, but I guess it’s time to. Look at this chart showing how the Chinese obesity rate has exploded since 1980:
(Image via Economist.com)
More than a quarter of the adult population, or roughly 350m people, is overweight or obese (more than 60m squeeze into the latter camp).
The Chinese are not actually eating more as they get richer: the average daily intake has dropped a little over the past ten years, from 2,100 calories in 2002 to a little more than 2,000 today. This suggests that a sedentary lifestyle may be hurting people’s health as much as changes in diet. Rapid urbanisation means more people are leaving the fields to work in less strenuous manufacturing jobs. Meanwhile in the cities, walking and biking have been replaced by driving cars and sitting on public transport. Recent surveys show that less than 10% of urban dwellers exercise regularly.
Childhood obesity has grown hugely in richer coastal cities. During summer breaks parents send off their pudgy little emperors to weight-loss camps that have sprung up everywhere. The exam-oriented education system doesn’t help matters either: although schools are required to set aside at least an hour for exercise every day, they routinely cancel gym classes to make room for other courses. In May the Lancet, a medical journal, published a study showing that the obesity rate among Chinese boys is 6.9%, almost twice as high as that among adult men.
June 15, 2014 at 4:12 PM
I’ve been good, now I’m being bad: Bermuda onions, tater tots, a sliced fried hot dog, grated cheddar and Ranch dressing.
May 21, 2014 at 8:52 PM
(Image via Wikipedia)
I’m waiting for the wingnut freak out about this.
Maybe it’s just me but I’d rather not sit next to a guy with a Lugar under his belt:
Chipotle: Don’t Bring Guns in Our Stores
Chipotle is asking customers not to bring firearms into its stores after it says gun rights advocates brought military-style assault rifles into one of its restaurants in Texas.
The Denver-based company notes that it has traditionally complied with local laws regarding open and concealed firearms.
But in a statement Monday, the company said that “the display of firearms in our restaurants has now created an environment that is potentially intimidating or uncomfortable for many of our customers.”
Gee. Ya think?
People who don’t want to be around guns have rights too.
May 19, 2014 at 6:35 PM