Copenhagen Zoo Kills Staffers to Make Way for New Ones

March 30, 2014 at 9:29 AM 1 comment

Giraffe via Wikipedia

(Image via Wikipedia)

You probably heard about the Copenhagen Zoo killing a giraffe, in front of visitors no less, chopping it up and feeding it to the lions.  And, you probably heard that that same zoo killed four lions last week.

That said, I’m loving this spoof piece:

Copenhagen Zoo Kills Four Healthy Staff Members To Make Space for New Employees

Officials of the Zoo say that the four members of the staff were humanly executed after being put to sleep with a lethal injection, and then skinned and chopped up while visitors crowded around and the meat was fed to the lion population.

“Based on the recommendation of the European Association of Work and Organizational Psychology (EAWOP), we have decided to make space for new work positions, because the Zoo needs new workers, and we found that killing old staff members was the cheapest and the most efficient way to do it,” said Zoo spokesman Tobias Stenbaek Bro “Four of the oldest staff members, among them one female, were put to sleep with a lethal injection and then fed to the giraffes. However, the giraffes didn’t show interest in their meat, so they were fed to the lions,” explained the Zoo spokesman.

“Being that the oldest staff members could no longer keep track with the new Zoo technologies, and could not manage themselves in the fast and ever-changing job environment, we feel that the criticism coming from some of their family members is completely unfounded,” the Zoo spokesman was quoted as saying.

More…

 

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Entry filed under: Animals (Other Than Us).

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Tim Truett  |  March 30, 2014 at 12:51 PM

    Excellent!

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