September 20, 2021


Secrets To A Lasting Relationships Revealed

Teenage Relationships

Getting in a relationship is not simple.  It entails a lot of hardship and patience to ensure that everything is going on smoothly.

Teenagers or Millenials are quick into jumping in a relationship.  Things have really changed.  These young people hurriedly go in a relationship without really caring about their future.

As soon as they get involved with another person romantically, they become vulnerable to hurt and often times broken relationship.

Early Pregnancy

The teenage relationship is often the reason for early pregnancy.  As quick as their love-relationship, the young couple engages in pre-marital sex too.

Young love is just a by-product of an impulsive decision, which is the characteristic of a teenage love affair.  From these will spring all the other problems like unwanted pregnancy which leads to abortion, broken family and abandoned children.

The Leading Cause of Broken Relationships

Young couples with impulsive decisions create the biggest problem in their lives.  The reason for their failed relationships comes from unplanned relationships.

One very important thing in a relationship is the maturity of both parties.  Young people are acting out based on their emotions at the moment.

Another thing that set them apart from a mature relationship is the level of understanding. Immaturity is often observed with young couples.  However, we may also say that maturity does not come with age.

Majority of the grown-up adults still acts immaturely compared to the younger generation.  Definitely, relationship survivals depend on how both parties respond to each other’s need.

Relationship experts often give the best advice on how to change your love life for the better.   Shannon Lester of Shannon Online delivers one of the best advice for successful relationships.

Let’s find out what she has to say regarding a fruitful relationship that will totally change your life.

Know Thyself

In ShallonOnline, she mentioned that to avoid break-ups, you must need to know yourself first.  Yes, it is important that before you accept a stranger into your life, you must have known yourself first.

Letting a stranger in without having full knowledge of yourself will lead to a catastrophic relationship.

Embrace and love yourself before anyone else and everything else will follow.

You Complete Yourself

People who are looking for someone who would complete themselves are only fooling themselves.  No one can ever complete you but yourself.

Shallon’s take on this is that the other person can only hold your hand while during your life’s journey.

If you know how to take care of yourself and loving yourself, you will never feel incomplete.  Do not depend on others for your own happiness.

Do a Self-Evaluation

Lastly, in order to fully understand and hold any relationship for keeps, you must learn how to evaluate yourself.

Understanding your own flaws and mistake enables you to change your life for the better.  Strive harder to keep yourself in balance and in consonance with life.

This will radiate to the people that surround you including those who love you unconditionally.

There is really no right or wrong formula in great relationships.  It depends on how you handle it and how well you understand yourself more than your partner.

This is the secret to a lasting relationship.  The one that holds the key is none other than YOU.

Looking for the YouTube to MP3 downloader for android? Here are your options

It is the era of technology and tech-related things and there is no doubt that people live in the lap of technology. If the 21st century will be remembered for so many things then definitely the huge growth of technology will stay on top. Scientists, researchers, and engineers work so hard every day to even have the Midas touch of technology applied in practical areas and they have succeeded so far. As a result, people get used to the internet things and online stuff and modern day life can’t be imagined without the internet.

The internet and smartphones

Since internet became marketable for common people then the smartphone industry felt the need of using a smartphone to access the internet and do other stuff and today you can find almost every single person having a smartphone and that is the result. Definitely, it has changed the faces of smartphones. Nowadays the smartphones people use are enriched with good hardware and software and while the good hardware is meant for the smartphone to last long, the software part is where you do all kind of tasks on your smartphones.

The smartphone software

Using software is fun and whatever you do on a smartphone it happens via software. The UI (User Interface) and OS (Operating System) is important for a smartphone and the most two common UI are android and IOS. The number of the Android user is huge around the world and there are tons of apps are available on the Play Store than the IOS. That is what makes android devices convenient and useful.

The music apps on android

You can find tons of apps on the play store and using the apps is fun. You can do whatever stuff you want with your smartphone because every type of app is available on the play store. The popular genre of the apps is games, movies, books, music. You can even find some subcategories too under these categories. Talking about music apps, most people love to listen to music and it is one of the common and popular habits noticed.

YouTube to MP3

YouTube is the most populated and viewed streaming media where people watch videos and listen to music. Nowadays many online song streaming apps are available but the demand for YouTube is something every user love to use. However, sometimes you might not feel to watch the whole video just to listen to music and it irritates you often. You want to download the videos from YouTube as a song and only the audio will be downloaded, not the video. Here comes the YouTube to MP3 (audio file) converters where you can download YouTube videos as an MP3 and many people are using the apps worldwide.

The various YouTube converters

In Android devices, the play store is the main source of the apps and you can find tons of apps of every genre here including the online youtube converter apps. Here is the list of some of the best converters you should download and use –

  1. Syncios youtube downloader
  2. Peggo
  3. Snaptube
  4. YTD video downloader for android
  5. Android youtube downloader
  6. Vidmate

If you don’t find these apps on the play store then try searching it online and you will get tons of websites providing the download links of these apps.

Why the apps are the best

The UI of the apps is simple and user-friendly and that is why these 6 apps are chosen. Every single app listed here provides every option with the resolutions you want. You can choose your preferred one. Also converting the youtube file to mp3 file takes less time comparing to other apps and you can download it directly from youtube or copy the link and paste it in the search option and then download it. Every app listed here provides the search option. The apps also give high and decent downloading and converting speed and you don’t have to wait long.

The number of downloads of the apps is huge and users are satisfied so far with the experience. So what are you waiting for? You are searching for a good online youtube converter and here it is. Convert the video file to mp3 and enjoy!

Grow Long Hair With These Simple Steps 1 To 10!

Growing long, luscious and beautiful hair is the dream of many! While it’s not rocket science for sure, it’s not even as easy as people feel it is. Combining various aspects of hard work, determination, consistency, and use of health supplements, shampoo, oil, and other hair care products is something that gives you the ultimate benefits. Well, the biggest thing that comes with long hair is your patience. It takes years to grow hair and just a few seconds to cut them off. So, if you are dedicated enough and want to get perfect hair, here are the major 10 steps that you must follow, give your hair the right treatment and see them flourishing right in front of your eyes!

The steps to be followed for beautiful, long, healthy hair

  • Trimming is inevitable

regular trimming always makes your hair look healthy and beautiful. In fact, they resist the split ends to go high on the top and create more damage. Of course, we all hate split ends and the only way to get rid of them is regular trimming. Well, it will lead to some loss in the length, but if you give the ends more room to grow, you might need to cut much more of them. So, ask your professional salon expert to give you trim in every 4-6 weeks. You can even do that at home with battery operated hair clippers.

  • Shampoo twice or thrice a week that’s all!

a lot of people become really concerned of cleaning the dirt and dust that gets accumulated due to which, they start shampooing their hair every day which is a disaster. This rips off the natural oil formation of your hair, leaving them dry and unhealthy. So, make sure that you just shampoo them twice or thrice weekly.

  • Use conditioner every time after shampooing

from coloring, heat treatments and styling, your hair starts losing their properties and get thinner from the bottom. Thus, whenever you are shampooing the hair, it is important to go for conditioner as it restores the proteins as well as lipids that are found in your hair. A good conditioner also seals up the cuticles and maintain the health of your hair.

  • Use cold water when you complete your shower

it doesn’t matter how you take the shower; make sure that you give your hair a cold water bath to maintain their originality. Cold water generally lays the hair’s outer layer smoothly. It also prevents moisture loss, heat damage and snags that are highly desired. So, just do it for a few seconds and see the magic work.

  • Take healthy meals

your hair not only needs nourishment from the outside, but they eventually require healthy nourishment from the inside as well. Consume products that are rich in vitamin B, which can be found in fish, vegetables, seafood, meat and a lot more.

  • Use a good oil or mask treatment every week on your hair

apart from trimming them regularly with battery operated hair clippers it is essential to nourish your hair with natural oil treatments or organic masks. You can mix up various essential oils, onion juice, and aloe vera to give your hair length the boost which they need.

  • Always brush with proper care

always be gentle with your hair strands. Avoid brushing after you have oiled or shampooed the hair. While they are wet, they are at their weakest phase and thus the hair will simply fall down if you try to detangle them with any pressure. So, always let the hair dry naturally and then only comb them.

  • Don’t use a rough pillowcase

satin or silk fabric is much better for the health of your hair than anything else. Regularly woven cotton pillowcases will lead to less friction and your hair may get tangled every time you wake up.

  • Avoid using huge towels to wrap the hair

don’t wrap your hair instantly after washing, and even if you want to drain them, go for microfiber towels that turn out as highly beneficial and useful. Other huge towels force the hair shafts to come together that leads to breakage and other complications.

  • Maintain patience and repeat the above mentioned regularly!

the final step is to be patient. Your hair will grow regularly but they will definitely take some time to showcase a visible change. There is no point where you need to stop doing all the above-mentioned things. Just continue them with a routine and see how your hair will grow and improve effectively.

So, these were the top most important things that you must keep in your mind for healthy hair! And of course, never forget to use great battery operated hair clippers to trim and keep your hair healthy forever.

9 Of The Top 10 Most-Streamed Artists Of 2018 Were Rappers

2018 was certainly a good year for music and the music industry. The year has witnessed some of the most radical changes in the music industry. Streaming has become a great trend in the year and people have memorized the top edm songs of the year after listening to their favorite artists perform them in live gigs. Another trend that attracted major attention in the year was the collaborations of artists across genres. Many DJs and edm artists have been seen performing with hip hop artists and rappers in the year- both in music albums and live.

In 2018, 901 billion streams were experienced in US alone. These got translated into 267.4 billion clicks from within the country. Here comes the most interesting fact! 30 percent of the earning that the US music industry made in 2018 from live streaming is for the combined genre of Hip Hop and R&B. This means that clearly, 9 out of 10 artists in the most streamed category from 2018 are rappers. Drake is leading this list with his album Scorpion that became popular overnight after its release. He bagged the title on being the most streamed artist with 11.3 billion on demand streams in the year, becoming the first artist to cross the 10 billion mark in the live streaming game. He is followed by Post Malone who had 7.51 billion streams in the year.

Sadly, XXX Tentacion passed away in the year during the month of June. However, he managed to get the third most views for live streams in the year with a total number of 6.91 billion streams. He is closely followed by Eminem who launched his 10th studio album Kamikaze in the year. He was able to wind up with 4.82 billion hits on his live streams in 2018. Apart from these, NBA YoungBoy, Migos, Travis Scott, Cardi B and Lil Baby were other rappers that people adored during the last year. From other musical genres apart from rap, Ariana Grande was the top ranking artist who was able to get 3.28 billion live streams, making rock the second favorite of people from all over the world.

The year also noticed a strange trend in terms of live streaming rankings. Female artists rose to popularity but were, sadly, not able to give a tough competition to many male artists. The popularity of Drake followed by some other male rappers was not much of a threat but still many separate lists were launched to evaluate the popularity of female rappers of US. Cardi B was able to top this list with Dua Lipa following her, but the number of their live streams was nowhere near what male artists have been able to achieve in the year. Anyhow, Spotify remained the central platform for the most popular live streams in the year and launched a separate list for the top ranking female rappers of the year. Rap fans all over the world are now looking forward to 2019, hoping that new artists will occupy the stage in this year.

The Importance of Community

What’s in a community? Who put the MM in MMORPG? How important is the social aspect of an MMORPG? In today’s fast-paced world of gaming, where leveling has become a nuisance and instancing and insta-travel have become the norm, the community within the game has become so much more important. With you can rise in the gaming community. As you increase your level and ranking you get more recognition as well. It is really important that you get inside the community. You can chat with other community members to improve your skills and learn more tips so that you can improve your gameplay as well.

The community in a game can often make or break the game, yet developers often overlook this concept. While making sure that they have the latest eye-catching graphics, fastest leveling system, and new and intriguing combat, they often forget the most important feature- the people.

How can a developer forget what is right in front of their face? It is in the title, right? MM does stand for Massively Multi-player? These two words encompass the main idea of the genre. It is this social aspect that has caused people to be addicted to these types of games. It is what keeps them coming back for more. The realism, the whole new world that is full of life, yet so different than everyday living. In fact, gamers will often tire of the actual gameplay of a title but stick around for years because they have formed a bond with other players in the community. They have made friends, long-lasting relationships that they do not wish to part from.

When asked his opinion on the importance of the community within a game, Paul Presley, Editor at MMM Publishing said, ” [It’s] vital. Although as much out of the game as in.” Paul also added, “[Devs] do not forget, per se, but they often, understandably tend to focus on the game first, community second. Most of the time it feels as though they’ll wait for the community to take care of itself at first, hope it’s a success and then start to nurture it.”

This is a good assessment of what happens, but the fact remains that this tactic does not always work out. If you leave it up to the community to create the community, and the community fails at this, the game fails too. The community needs help from the developers. To be successful it needs the gameplay to be social, it also needs the right tools, such as a well-made friend list, guild windows, and chat options, all of which need to be easy to use. Along with all of this, a game needs a great community manager. One who will engage in the community, encourages members to be active, and also one who will answer questions, host events, and be there for the players when they are needed.

The community also needs aspects of the game to promote social activity that is different than normal gameplay. Allow players to have housing that they can decorate, chairs they can sit in emotes galore and casual clothing. With all of this the player can find a place to relax after a hard day of fighting, they can head to a friend’s house and chat it up, or throw a party of their own.

One MMO that hit the nail on the head was Star Wars Galaxies. Most gamers would agree that this game was built around the idea of social ability. There is yet to be another game that allows it’s players to create and build a strong community as this game did. From being able to craft and name their own items, change the colors on housing signs, build houses into stores, host live dance and music events at the Cantina, this game raised the bar on community. In fact, players were even able to create their own custom cities and make that city well known and visited. All doors could be left open as well, so players could just drop on in without the downtime of zoning. It is truly a shame that this game took a wrong turn at the end and more of a shame that other games still have not picked up on the unique qualities that this game offered to promote player friendliness, and activity.

So who did put the MM in MMORPG? Richard Garriott of course! He created the term MMORPG, and the game Ultima Online considered the first successful game in the genre. What separated this game from single-player games? The massive amount of people in this persistent online world! People that were as real as those that gamers interact with every day, except that now in a game, players were able to interact with people on a daily basis in a world that was more fun and stress-free.

Now MMOs are taking a turn for the worse. With the new solo-friendly craze that games have begun, players never have to speak with one another, and can remain solo until the very end, creating a lack of contact with the other players. Where will the genre go from here? What does Richard Garriott think? Who will create the new term for these not so MMORPGs? Perhaps they are now only MMORPGs (Massively Multi-Player Solo Role-Playing Games).

Gamers who love to log into these games to immerse themselves in an exciting virtual world full of intrigue, danger, and good friends can only hope that there is an upcoming game on the horizon that will save the MMORPG, a game that recognizes that community is important, that the social aspect is needed to form a bond to the game, and that the most essential element of the game is the people.

Trending Cars Among College Students In The ’80s

To be truly honest with you, the car manufacturing industry has seen some rapid changes in the recent past years especially when you are talking about some high performance SUVs and sedans. As a buyer, you have a lot of options to pick when you are up to the task of buying trending cars. What about the brief details regarding the sedans which were popular in ‘80s? The time period of ‘80s was really like a golden period for the entire world where the technology was maybe introduced.  The following paragraphs can help you to have some keen details about the trending cars among college students in the ‘80s.

After having some basic details  about ’80s cars now, you would be looking to check out some explained details about those cars which were driven out by the college students in the decade of 80. This is really important for you to have such details when you are looking to buy a new car. This simple concept can fix a lot of issues that you may face while choosing a perfect car. You can check and some other similar platforms to have the needed details.

Mitsubishi Lancer

When you are talking about some of the iconic Lancer cars then you cannot forget to talk about Mitsubishi Lancer which was a very trendy car in the youths of ‘80s. The box-type structure and awesome looks of this car made it very popular and famous among the college students without any doubt. To know more about Mitsubishi Lancer, you can surf some other similar online portals.

Mitsubishi Mirage

If you have heard anything about the Cainta-assembled models then you may already know something about the Mitsubishi Mirage. This is yet another popular sedan which was widely popular among the ’80 college students.

Toyota Starlet

The exceptional looks and appealing features of Starlet made it one of the most renowned sedans in ‘80s. The college students were having dream to drive this special car. As a user, you should browse some other similar reliable platforms to have the desired details about this same car.

Toyota Corolla

Toyota Corolla is yet another sedan which was popular among the college students in ‘80s. You can check more details about this same car by browsing some other reliable online websites and platforms.

Toyota Corona

The college students who were looking to drive out some rough and tough cars in ’80s had given preference to the Toyota Corona. This is yet another marvelous car that has gained a huge respect and appreciation in ’80s. So think about your needs and make full use of the information.

These are some of the trending cars in’80s about which you are looking to collect some brief details. If you still have some doubts left there in your mind then you can browse some other similar online platforms without asking anyone else right now. In the end, you just need to remark your needs and make full use of the available information wherever you want according to your needs and desires.

Digital Marketing: An Effective Tool Of Marketing For Growing One’s Digital Presence

Marketing is all about reaching one’s targeted audience and leave a long lasting impression on their minds. This is helpful in customer retention and making sure that there is strong communication between the business concern and customers. But gone are the days when people used to go to shops and retail units to shop, now with technological advent people search and compare things online and also buy products and services from digital platforms. This is the reason why digital marketing is the only tool that can help one’s business to reach that popularity online and for that one can the best NJ web design, SEO and social media marketing agency.

What is digital marketing?

Digital marketing is a tool of marketing for promoting a business online. It is a way of trying to each audience through online gadgets and services. Just having a website is not enough one need to promote and market it effectively to make sure that it is seen by people and so that it can attract organic traffic towards the website. For a successful marketing campaign, one needs to create a marketing strategy based on business and market analysis and continuous customer feedback. Also one needs to take into consideration the fact that there are several types of digital marketing tools and one should use a balanced mix of all of them to make their campaign effective.

Type of digital marketing

  1. Search engine optimization (SEO): the most important and most talked about the tool, it is all about making one’s website rank higher in the search engine to increase its visibility and incoming traffic.
  2. Social media marketing: this famous for directly connecting to the customers and not just to promote the services and products but also to be in constant communication with the customers.
  3. Content marketing: this is an indirect form of marketing where viewers read the content and then share or comment on it. This helps in growing one’s business by assuring the viewers about one’s expertise in a filed.
  4. E-mail marketing: one of the oldest types of digital marketing but very effective in its own way. This usually involves newsletter, e-mail notifications, e-mail invitations or after sales thank you e-mails.
  5. Online advertising: one of the oldest and most commonly used and it helps in serving ads to other content sites.

How digital marketing helps in the growth of the business?

Before starting to search for NJ web design, SEO and social media marketing service providers, one should take into consideration how digital marketing can help one’s business:

  • It helps in expanding the customer base.
  • It is affordable and cheap as compared to conventional marketing techniques.
  • One can target a large number of potential customers.
  • Create an online presence by doing reliable branding.
  • It helps in improving customer satisfaction on daily basis by communicating with the customers.
  • Increase the incoming traffic and which in turn will lead to revenue growth.

While selecting a digital marketing agency one should be careful about their credibility and expertise. Also one should be aware of one’s own needs and expectations so that it can match the expertise of the agency. Digital marketing without any doubt is the most powerful tool to make one’s brand have a stronger digital presence in an effective and cost-efficient way.

A Diabetes Center Offers Information on the Disease

You find that you are suffering from diabetes and you are at a loss at what to do about it. Of course, your doctor will explain to you the facts in brief, and prescribe the medicines and caution you about your diet. He or she will also tell you that this is a disease that will stay with you for the rest of your life. Diabetes is incurable. It does sound pretty bad and very final. Where do you look for more information?

The Diabetes Center – The Information Source on Diabetes
There is many a diabetes center which side by side with providing treatment for diabetes, also conducts information dissemination classes for people to get a grip on themselves and learn to live a fruitful life, in spite of this disease. You will, of course, find plenty of information on the Net and you will be able to dig a lot of facts on the diseases from libraries. However, the diabetes center will be one of the best sources because it provides hands-on experience.
A diabetes center will provide not only a good amount of information and guidelines on how to manage diabetes and integrate your life to cope with this disease for life, but also show you a real-life example of success or failures so you can learn from it.

Diabetes is a very serious disease if left untreated. It is hence very important to diagnose it as early as possible and bring it under control. It is very much possible to enjoy a completely normal life, even if you are a diabetic, only with the help of a balanced diet and moderate lifestyle.

Help In an Emergency – The Diabetes Center
The moment you find that you are suffering from diabetes, you should make sure you tell your family and friends so they would be aware of this problem in case of an emergency. You will also need to wear a tag on the wrist or in your wallet saying that you are diabetic and describing the disease in case any mishap takes place and the doctor needs to know in a hurry what to do for you.

You also need to know where the first place to call in case of an emergency. The diabetes center would be a good choice because they are well equipped for diabetic emergencies and can intervene fast. If you do have a diabetes center close by, make sure you enroll there and let them know where you live, so in case of any emergency help can be on its way in no time.

Does Being A Type-A Personality Make Me OCD?

All you non-Type-A’s don’t get to weigh in on the vote because you just don’t understand. There is an order to life that many people just don’t recognize, and it is up to those of us that do to make sure things are put in their proper place. To say that I am routine oriented is most definitely an understatement. I like to think of myself as an efficiency aficionado, which sounds much better. I’ll admit this can be good or bad, depending on the situation. I like to figure out the most efficient way for something to be done, and always do it that way unless I find out something even more efficient. Unfortunately, this extends to things that likely can be done differently without any real consequence.

Take for example the commute to work. Yes, we all like this to be as short as possible (I think) and typically we take the route that gives us the shortest time in the car. How many of you try every possible route multiple times both morning and evening and compare when you leave work to the traffic flow. Ok, some of you perhaps. How about do you take into consideration the lights or stop signs along with left turns into traffic you make that will impact the possible wait time and therefore increase your drive time? And how about the sheer number of turns you make and at what speed for consideration on wear and tear on your tires. Yep, I’m that bad. I know of one other person as bad as me in this way. He and I used to go to the same destination in two vehicles and, at the same time, take different routes as an unconscious test to see who arrived first. I know, straight to the loony bin for both of us.

If you think the driving habits are not that bad, let me continue. How about the old favorite of where you squeeze the tube of toothpaste. Yep, count me in for the bottom and work my way into the end. Is there any question as to whether it is the most efficient? My wonderful wife is of course non-caring and squeezes from wherever her hand happens to have grabbed the tube. Does this bother me…well, a little, but not to the point of frustration. I just “fix” it every time I notice. Yes, that is correct. If I notice the tube is not at its most efficient point, I make the adjustment squeeze to everything right again in the universe.

How about toilet paper? Not the fact of whether or not there is sufficient left on the roll, no, that is too easy. Not having any is a whole other topic. I am talking about the direction it rolls. I can see many of you think, uh, never noticed and who cares. Me, I care. I much prefer it to roll towards me so a casual flick brings out what you need. My wife, again, doesn’t give this a passing thought. If the roll is turning the “incorrect” direction, I will actually take the time to switch it. How bad is that?

Do you sort your bills in your wallet? This is, of course, assuming you have multiple bills of the varying denomination to be sorted. How about the order the credit cards are in so the ones you use the most are easiest to access? Do you go so far as to vary what cards and other contents of your wallet/purse contain based on what you will be doing that day? How about where things are located in the fridge? Best use of space and most readily available?

The list goes on, and each thing pretty insignificant on its own, but put together they are beginning to make me wonder. As part of my concern, I periodically buck my system and change something up just to make sure I can do it without feeling a panic attack. I don’t want to end up locking my doors 5 times and feeling compelled to step over cracks. It may work in the end for Jack Nicholson on the big screen, but I am pretty sure my family would strap me in the white jacket before then. I’m ok, you’re ok, we’re ok. Whew, back to work.

Teen Friendships – Romantic and Otherwise

Mary, the “mom”

I recently had the opportunity to catch up with an old friend. She was telling me about her thirteen-year-old daughter having a boyfriend. A boyfriend she’s been “going out” with for eight months now. A boyfriend they have accepted and even welcomed into their home and family. It was clear she has grudgingly accepted the fact that her daughter is growing up, and fast. But she wasn’t exactly happy about it.

My response was, “Well, what choices do you have? If you forbid it, you just set the stage for her to lie and sneak around in order to see this boy. This way, you’re aware of what’s going on and in a position to supervise.” My friend agreed but told me that most of her other friends felt differently. They thought she was crazy to allow this relationship to go on.

It’s easy for me to spout my theory when it’s just that – a theory. I do have a thirteen-year-old daughter, but there is no boyfriend on the horizon. So, “dad” how did you handle the boyfriend issue with your daughters? Rach, what’s your take on it?

Rach, the “teen”

My parents never forbid me from seeing anyone. At 11 they drove me to see my first boyfriend. At 15 they allowed me to date a senior in high school. And at 18 they seem happy to see me dating the boy who’s been chasing me.

I think parents should always be supportive. Parents who forbid their kids from seeing someone, or dating till a certain age are asking for their kid to lie to them. Parents who disapprove of a certain person should say something or set boundaries, forbidding isn’t an effective way to stop a behavior.

When I was fourteen, my best friends mom forbids him from seeing or speaking to me. His mom said I was a bad influence, and my parents were shocked but they stayed out of it. We got around the ban (by meeting at mutual friends houses and talking by email), but it was incredibly hard. Being banned from a best friend is terrible, I can’t imagine what it would be like to be banned from a boyfriend.

Brad, the “dad”

I’m sorry, what is this ‘boyfriend’ thing of which you speak? As we all know, the standard practice for Dads when it comes to dating daughters is to stick one’s fingers in one’s ears and go “la la la la” until Mom handles it.

So far, we have dodged this particular bullet – our daughters have both decided, pretty much on their own, that they’re not ready for boyfriends yet, though with the Valkyrie heading off to college in mere weeks, I know that’s going to change way too soon. We did have this problem with a “bad influence” friend and Rachel are right: it’s virtually impossible, given the wide range of activities and low level of supervision, to really “ban” anybody, at any teen-like age. If the Valk or the Elf wants to see somebody – romantically or otherwise – we parents would be foolish to think we could absolutely prevent it.

Still…I think that even if they would never admit it or show it, our kids really do want our approval and respect. So when we’ve dealt with less-than-perfect friends, we’ve let our daughter know directly – and privately, not in front of sibs or other friends – that we don’t really like the Kid in Question. And we tell her why. In some instances, it’s actually made her re-think the liaison. In others, she’s disagreed. Strenuously. Even tearfully. And I have to admit, in a couple of cases the girl was right and we were wrong: the Kid in Question wasn’t so bad after all. We also found in one crucial case that bringing in a respected third party – an older sister, an older, long-time friend or relative – who could say basically what we would have said, but without the “parent thing” wrapped around it, did a world of good. The girls actually heard the message rather than raged at the messenger, and backed away from a potentially bad situation.

I am clinging to the idea that our daughters’ judgment is already good enough to keep them from making really bad mistakes about men. But this is the real world and the 21st century, and chances are they’ll get hurt. After we’ve done our best – limited though it may be – to protect them, our real job as parents of teens and adults is to accept what we couldn’t prevent and help them heal. Not the most fun part of the gig, but there you go.